At some point, all your efforts will pay off. 

The courage you’ve mustered up for grieving and leaving behind your old self has cleared the way for you to dream of something better. Those dreams narrowed down into solid plans, and through trial and error, persistence and resilience, you’ve finally made it. What Now? 

Now You’ve entered Phase 4 of the Change Cycle: 

• Martha Beck labels this as “The Promised Land” - where your dreams have become a reality. 

• It’s when the butterfly has left the cocoon and now is living as a whole new being. 

• It’s the season of Summer when the tree is in full bloom. When the harvest is being enjoyed. 

This can be a glorious time for feeling content.

But for many, we miss it. 

Either from trauma or just persistent habit, many of us are so conditioned to the stress and striving and vigilant nature of working toward a goal, that we don’t know what to do with it when we get there. The tendency might be to doubt our accomplishments or to jump right ahead to “What’s Next?”- which leads us to feel empty and directionless. 

So, even though you’ve reached the promised land, as it were, you may need a little practice at being in this phase.

Here’s a couple practices to remember: 

Practice Gratitude: although this could be practiced at all times, when you’ve reached phase 4 of the change cycle, acknowledging all you’ve done, all you have, and who you’ve become helps to anchor you into the present moment which will also help you to find the courage and motivation to move forward when change comes again. 

Practice “sense drenching”: instead of going numb with the emptiness of doubting yourself and worrying about what’s next, practice indulging in all the senses of your new and present self. Take stock of all that you touch, smell, taste, hear, see, and feel - and practice the enjoyment of being where you intended to go when you first started out on making this change. Take in the view a the top of the mountain, really taste the food you’ve labored over cooking, truly look into the eyes of your loved ones. This practice of appreciation not only anchors you into the present moment but will calibrate your internal guidance system to help you navigate your way when change comes again. 

And then, there’s the practice of “non-attachment”: the other trap besides doubting your own experience or skipping over it to find what’s next, is being so attached to the achievement that any enjoyment you would have had gets smothered in the fear that you will lose it. This is a bit of a perspective taking exercise and is taught in many philosophies. If not embraced, you run the risk on getting stuck in the past or overly worried about the future. In either case you end up missing the experience of what it is you intended for yourself.
Some pithy phrases such as “This too shall pass” which are often used in harder times, are very helpful when things are going your way as well, because it reminds you to keep perspective that the only constant is change. And so, when change comes, you might not take it so personally.
Also, you can practice non-attachment to a thing or achievement by anchoring into the values they represent - what are the chosen qualities of being that you find important within these achievements? For example, I may have achieved wealth, but that might disappear - what I can value is how I might be and act with that wealth - ie: maybe I strove for wealth so that I could be generous - well, even if the wealth dwindles, generosity can remain in the spirit of everything I do!

The mantra used by Martha Beck here is to remind herself:

“Change is coming. And that’s ok.” 

I find that mantra-reminder helps me to go back into my gratitude and appreciation as well as to live fully in phase four while it lasts, knowing that the change cycle is always coming around. 

Finally, once you’ve experienced your particular promised land, I encourage you to embrace the change cycle not just through acceptance that change will come - which may carry the negative connotation that you’ll be knocked back down again - but rather by dreaming bigger. 

Ask: “What more could be possible that I haven’t even dreamt of before?” 

And then see where the change takes you…