Sometimes we’re going along, enjoying our lives when -  BAM - something happens, and now things have changed: You meet the love of your life or a building burns down… for better or worse, life is going to be different.

At this point we’re forced to deal with the change. And having some skills for navigating change would come in handy…

However,  at other times, nothing in particular has happened… but you discover a desire or longing for something new… your job just doesn’t feel right, you keep looking at photos of a different part of the country… maybe you can’t even place your finger on it, but life as you’ve been living it doesn’t seem to work for you anymore…

This is a point as well where having some tools for navigating change would be helpful.

It’s human nature to resist change. Our minds feel safer when life is predictable and even if the past wasn’t good for you, on some level, the mind prefers the known over the unknown…

So, the mind scrambles to regain control and hold onto the past, or figure out the future…

The problem is (especially in today’s rapidly changing world) we can’t stop change from happening, and the life we knew is no longer real. Holding on and fighting it will only cause suffering and stagnation.

As soon as we can acknowledge change is happening, we’re in stage one of the change cycle…

Stage one calls us to look inward - it’s a time to go into a cocoon, or like a tree shedding it’s leaves going into Fall it's a time to acknowledge what we're leaving behind. 

When a change comes upon us, whether it's positive or negative, there is a need to grieve. Even if you are celebrating, there will be some way of being or a part of yourself that you are leaving behind. And it's necessary to acknowledge that. If we try to hold on or stay the same as we were, we might find ourselves struggling against the waves, or swimming upstream – in other words: struggling against what is.

So when change comes upon us, whether it's a tsunami, or even a ripple in the water, the first stage is to allow. This includes being with those parts of ourselves that are in resistance and working with those beliefs that are underneath that resistance. It's a time to retreat from our normal way of doing things for a while. It’s a process of going inward and reckoning with those parts of us that are in conflict with the new reality that is unfolding. Eventually you will align yourself to a new reality, but that does not mean you must push forward as fast as you can to the next stage. No,  just like any stage of grief, it takes its own time and we must be patient.

This is a frustrating phase for many of us because there’s not a lot of outward action to take. But if we skip this step, we most certainly muddy the waters and slow the the eventual clarity that will come as we move onto the next phases of change.

Let’s talk about phase 2 of the cycle in the next post...

In the meantime, if you’re looking for some compass points or an empathic ear to help you navigate through your own process of change, consider booking a free consultation.