To Leap or Not to Leap... Why does it Matter?

Have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff or on a diving board? You wanted to go there. You can see the water below. You want to be in that cool, sparkling water… 

But you just can’t seem to make yourself take the leap…

What happens next? Do you back away? 

If you’re compassionate enough, you might forgive yourself.  “I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t the right time for me. I don’t need to do something just because others did it.” 

That’s all fine - it’s good to be kind to yourself. 

Or, you might blame the circumstances: “it was too high, the surface was too slippery, in fact it’s foolish and dangerous…” and so on. And you might be right. 

But how do you truly feel? 
Ashamed, regretful, deflated? 

If you tend to not be so compassionate towards yourself, you might actually berate, and shame yourself and then you’re certain to feel awful… 

There’s the other side of the coin too, when you force yourself to jump, and either the experience is bad: 
you belly flopped, it hurt, and was too embarrassing, 
or the fall sends you into a deeper panic
and you scramble to get out of the water as fast as possible because you can’t breathe. 

Well, that’s a terrible experience as well. You probably won’t willingly go back to that leap anytime soon. 

Or maybe you jumped, after much stalling and debate, and it turns out the water is great! 
You had fun and are relieved after so much procrastination… 
“What was all the hassle about?” 
So, you go back to that edge to do it again… 
But to your surprise, that fear, resistance, anxiety are all still there… 

“It makes no sense, I just did this. Come on. Do it…” but you stand there stalling again… 

In all these scenarios, the problem is we didn’t know how to deal with our anxiety. And we either let anxiety take over and dictate what we do, or we try to suppress our feelings and force action to happen. Either way, that anxiety doesn’t go away. And it may only get stronger. 

There is another way…   

First, it helps to define the importance of the action you’re about to take. 

For something like jumping from a height into the water, well, that might not matter that much to you. 

So why work on it? 

Because chances are, how you deal with one anxiety provoking situation is likely how you deal with all anxiety provoking situations. And how we react in one place likely has less to do with the particular circumstances than how we relate to the thoughts and emotions that are present. 

This is great news because even with a seemingly trivial action, if you choose to develop the competency not only to follow through on what you intend to do but also to remain present enough to truly experience it… then you may find yourself engaging in life more fully in the more important arenas of your life. 

So back to defining the importance… 

Make a statement of what you value about the action you’re about to take, even if it’s simply to have a little more fun. And start to walk towards that value. At that point, the thoughts and feelings of anxiety will come up to counter your resolve. 

Sometimes just remembering your resolve is enough to carry you through, but other times you might need some tools to remain present. 

This is where you use practices to gain greater flexibility in your responses to those feelings and you learn to “get with” your anxiety rather than to be in a battle against it. 

Tools and practices can include breathwork, body awareness, mindfulness techniques, as well as learning how to use smaller, less anxiety provoking situations as a metaphor to help you with the situations you truly struggle with. 

These are some of the things we work on my Foundations of Moving Freely and Living Fully program. Through life coaching we work on navigating around limiting beliefs, orienting inward and listening to the body’s signals as ways to move toward the goals and values that inspire us. 

Imagine feeling like you no longer fight against yourself, but are moving forward with the activities you love and have aspired to do. Less stalling, more steps forward, but without all the stressful angst of forcing yourself to act. What if you found yourself building the muscle of courage instead of giving more power to the anxiety? 

If you’re hesitating on the edge of that cliff (metaphorically) and would like someone to partner with you in taking the steps to dive in, consider booking a free consultation. 

In the consultation, we’ll discuss what you’re aiming for and what your struggling with. If the Foundations program is a good fit for you, I’ll let you know and you can ask me any questions about it in order to decide whether you’d like to join. 

Here’s to taking the leap, 

Patrick