I think we all know the feeling: We intend to do something, but we just can’t seem to make ourselves do it.
We intend to get up earlier and end up hitting snooze 5 times. We want to tackle that project, but when the time comes, we lose focus, putter around with odds and ends and end up folding the laundry (complaining there’s not enough time). We make a plan to get outside, but then the weather channel predicts rain and suddenly scrolling on Facebook seems really important.

Many of us already know what it is we want to do, but why is it so hard to actually get started?

In my previous posts, Show Up Anyway, we explored the notion of showing up for any activity we intend to do even when the conditions aren’t right. We talked about how the decision to go ahead and do the thing hinges on Finding Your Why: whether your reason for doing it comes from a deeper yearning and alignment with your values, or whether you’re forcing yourself to do it for external validation or unhealthy egoic demands.

But when everything seems lined up, and you just can’t seem to get going… Then What?

Here’s a few steps I’ve picked up along the way:

First, and this may seem counter-intuitive, just be with the inertia. Don’t try to get rid of it, but observe it for a bit. There may be some valuable information there.

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. - Chinese Proverb

Can you identify the resistance? What does the inertia feel like in the body? If it had a shape or a color, what would it look like?

The point of these questions is to get closer to the source of the inertia in a non-judgemental way.

Therapeutic approaches, such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), assert that the conflicting voices in our heads or tensions in our bodies can be approached as if they are separate and valid entities within us that are struggling to be heard.

Sometimes, simply acknowledging the resistant part of ourselves is enough for it to calm down and allow you to move forward.

Getting clear on what inertia feels like, without suppressing the feeling, can also help us identify, contrast, and realign with the feeling we wish to be having: What would it feel like to climb the mountain, complete the job, or create the healthier habit? Notice the differences between tension and relaxation. Without denying your current state, focusing on the desired feelings can help ignite that fire that gets you moving again toward your goal.

Other times, you may need to speak to the inertia some more and ask it questions, like “What are you trying to tell me? What would you need to feel safe? How can I help you feel calm while we move forward?”

It’s sort of like trying to drive with the brakes on. Sure, if you step on the gas hard enough you may get the car moving, but it’s actually a lot easier and better for the the car if you acknowledge that your other foot is on the brake pedal and figure out how to step it to the side. Likewise, sitting with and acknowledging the inertia may help you adjust your approach in a way that actually propels you forward.

As you sit with your inertia, you may notice certain thoughts come to the surface that justify the feeling. “What’s the point, it’ll never work.” “It’s too late, I’ve missed my opportunity.” “I’m not (fill in the blank) enough.” “It’s too hard to do this.” and on and on. In my experience, there’s nothing as de-motivating as my own limiting thoughts or beliefs. How do you know if it’s a limiting thought? Think the thought and notice how you feel. Almost by definition, if the thought increases your feeling of inertia, it’s limiting (and probably not true). If the thought brings about a sense of peace or freedom (even if it’s uncomfortable or sad), then it is more likely to be empowering (and probably true). If you can identify any limiting thoughts and beliefs, then it may be time for some thought work.

Thought work is a term that includes many techniques for disentangling from any faulty patterns of thought that might be causing you distress while reinforcing new, more empowering perspectives. Simply labeling a thought as being a thought is a great first step. It creates a bit of space between you and the thought. A second step might be to introduce the possibility that the thought may not be absolutely true. Just try asking this question when you have a thought that causes you distress: “Are you sure?” Notice if the the grip on the thought becomes a little looser, and whether or not you feel a little more energized.

If you’re interested in more guidance in identifying limiting beliefs and thoughts, and applying some thought work to them, you might consider hiring a coach to guide you through the process. I’d be happy to help!

Developing a friendlier relationship with your internal life can be really effective at releasing the brakes on your motivation, and although it works in the moment of being stuck in conflicting feelings like inertia, it is often a longer term skill that strengthens over time. If you want to get moving right away, let’s talk about some simple actions and habits you can do… next time.